identity crisis

Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come,’ so now I say to you.  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, where are You going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward.” Peter said to Him, “Lord, why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for Your sake.” Jesus answered him, “Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times.    (John 13:33-38)

Why do I identify so much with those the likes of Peter, Paul, and David? I guess it is because I too struggle greatly with sin and am so distraught when I realize what I do to Christ when I sin!

How can I say I love my Lord and Savior yet do so much to hurt Him? How can I call myself a CHRISTian yet I identify with sin? I battle it daily, much like Paul! (Romans 7:14-25) This is not and excuse as much as it is a plea for mercy and grace! This salvation is indeed grace from God and a spiritual and physical battle to succeed! Without the sealing of the Holy Spirit, I would be lost.

Growing up in church but not knowing Jesus personally, I experienced way too much unGodly activity in the church, my home and in the "CHRISTian" schools I attended. It wasn't until experienced a life-changing event in 30's that I knew I needed more! Sports could no longer mask the pain. People could not satisfy me anymore. Even my quiet times were full of noise with me. I was introduced to Christ and He loved me like no other. He promised me that He loved me and I felt it! He keeps that promise! Not a promise based upon feelings, money, or what I could do for Him, but one based upon His love for me! He called me . . . He saved me . . . He secured me. No one can take me from Him or Him from me!

Even though I still go through an identity crisis daily, I know I belong to Christ! He did the work. He is perfecting me. (Philippians 1:16) I cannot do it alone. (Ephesians 1:13) My goal is to bring as many to Christ as I am able in this life. Though I still doubt the motives of people and prefer a quiet laid back life with few people, I realize must live as Christ wants me to and reach people with His love. So I do it for Him . . . because of Him!

Only what I do for Christ will last!